[28 Aug 2006|12:42am] last reminder... i've moved to a different journal. dirtystreets !!!

pps [03 Aug 2006|09:46pm] lolz too complicated who cares okkkk i'm too lazy to comment you all back dirtystreets 1 &!!!

p.s. [03 Aug 2006|10:40am] ok dead lj = i moved. comment to find me. alright? ok. 5 &!!!

the end. [02 Aug 2006|03:59pm] this lj is dead. comment to find me. 3 &!!!

:( [02 Aug 2006|10:13am] i miss the good days. last night was ok. we went shopping. i was tired. it was raining. we went to eric's. it was more of a guys night, if anything.. which wasn't exactly what i had in mind. dave chappelle's lost episodes are not funny. v for vendetta was faaaaaaaaaantastic of course. that's all the night consisted of, and it had been a week since we saw each other. makes me sad. at this rate.. i'll see him 2 or 3 times before he leaves. fuck. !!!

sup [01 Aug 2006|10:21am] august 1st!! wowwowwow one more month left. :( yesterday i went out to caribou with the girls! that was a lot of fun... plus i went with crystal and dan for more dorm shopping @ MOA and ikea. and yes i bought stuff, shhh. it's ok, i can afford to at the moment. we spent sooooo much time shopping, it was ridiculous. & we went to target and we went to southdale.. it was cool. we ate at the cheesecake factory, which i really probably shouldn't have. i've never spent so much money on a single meal before in my life, $28! daaamn. i didn't even come close to finishing my pasta.. and we all had our cheesecake to go. ohhhhhhh i'm gonna have some of that right now!! ok. today is our 8 month, & he told me he quit piano for this month. so maybe we can do something together.. gah. i kind of don't want to watch v for vendetta with the guys.. i mean. 8 month. come on. i don't know. !!!

good morning [31 Jul 2006|08:49am] its 8:49 am, and i couldn't tell you why i'm awake. for most of this month, i've been trying to sleep in, but i just can't. it's not even like i wake up feeling energized & refreshed -- i feel exhausted. craaaaaaaazy. i've decided to put saturday night behind me and just get over it, it's not a big deal i guess, looking at the bigger picture. i have to remember to do that from time to time. i talked to laura last night.. she seems to be doing well. i'm glad that i've been able to talk to her this summer... and that i can talk to her about boy problems too. i hope we'll still be able to talk while we're both down at the u this fall. less than a month now... AND V FOR VENDETTA COMES OUT TUESDAY!!! WOW! ;) !!!

%#@$#@$ [29 Jul 2006|04:28pm] after spending at least an hour on that stupid flyer for his show in his basement and i called into work saying i'm not gonna be there and i was looking forward to tonight but one fucking text message fucks it up so he's not gonna go to the show and he's not gonna hang out with me now i don't know if even i'm going to the show tonight and he ruined my fucking day i wonder if guys are ever aware of this sort of thing because it sucks now i'm just pissed as hell 2 &!!!

i want more time. [26 Jul 2006|05:15pm] i can't believe it. one more month and he's gone. one more month and everyone is gone. oh and buying that digital rebel doesn't seem so impossible after all. i've been working like craaaaazy. !!!

work = hot [23 Jul 2006|05:06pm] lol @ this kid, he is silly. you wouldn't be able to tell that he likes to brutally tell me the truth. and he tells me that i should drop denny because he knew from the beginning that he wasn't good for me. ( this is kind of how i'm feeling right now. ) 1 &!!!

fuuuuuck its sunday and i have work [23 Jul 2006|12:18pm] [ mood | stupid girl, yeah, thats it. ] i'm so tired and my party sucked (for me). i hope everyone else had fun. that's all that matters i guess. laura didn't end up coming which sucked. yeah i'm just pissed that i spent over $200 out of my pocket for something that sucked for me. ( why? ) anyways. softball tournament friday.. 3rd place. i went to the hookah bar with some of the guys, nothing too exciting. i tried strawberry. i don't know. i don't see what the hype is about i guess. um. tomorrow i will hopefully go to valleyfair, and hopefully that will take my mind off of things. OHOHOH I ACTUALLY HAVE GOOD NEWS, i almost forgot, I KNOW WHERE I'M LIVING ON CAMPUSSSSSS AND I'M ROOMING WITH TRISHA :) :) :) 1 &!!!

upcoming weekend [21 Jul 2006|11:22am] friday night -- softball tournament games, and maybe monster house with corey and jake. saturday -- skipping chinese lessons (somehow), kristin king's grad party, my party @ 7. putting it up on myspace = bad idea, some 24 yr old guy that nobody knows is coming, i want to take him off the list. and not have him come. wtf perv? sunday -- valleyfair? maybe? i'm really tired, but life is good. !!!

[20 Jul 2006|06:55pm] 5 &!!!

my mom's totally lost it [19 Jul 2006|10:40pm] proof: 1) she refuses to go to work. so me and my brothers get to pick up her shifts. 2) she takes the money we get from the restaurant and spends it. 3) she insists on not working, but she just sits at home and does nothing. 4) she yelled at her brother on the phone and called him bad names in chinese. 5) she makes "food".. mostly just steaming pork feet and vegetables, nothing else, and thinks it's good for her. 6) she buys shit from catalogs but never uses it. 7) she buys shit from supertarget and never uses it, claims that it'll have use in 5 years. 8) she thinks she can still have a baby, even though her tubes are tied, she's already going through menopause, and every doctor she goes to tells her it's nearly impossible. 9) she thinks everyone else in the world is crazy EXCEPT for her, example, she doesn't believe the doctors. 10) she has a reputation in her village/community.. not a good one. and more importantly... 11) she just smashed our SUV into the mailbox, creating a dent in our back door and completely shattering the back window. estimated cost, $3500. all these reasons, and more! !!!

[19 Jul 2006|10:49am] i was talking to 'monster' about not being able to have that "feeling" in a relationship... and how it's sometimes there, sometimes it's not. but honestly.. i'm just a dumb girl and yes, it's there. don't ask me what changed my mind.. it wasn't because we were playing sims 2 on my laptop, or we were watching the daily show and the colbert report, or that we were watching conan. it sort of just, hit me. i'm really dumb sometimes. and yes now i have faith in our relationship, trisha. i can feel it now. oh & hey its STILL raining out, and i'm tired, and i have to work tonight for the 3rd night in a row, and tomorrow night. bleeeeeeh. !!!

this makes no sense [17 Jul 2006|08:49pm] i don't get how someone could completely bash another person's decisions and talk shit about them behind their back all the time, but then hang out with them all the time and pretend to be something they're not comfortable being. wtf hypocrite? people these days ALL THE TIME. we say we're out of high school, but really, some of us never grow up. !!!

18th birthday [17 Jul 2006|10:34am] it was awesooooooome. my dad took us to yangtze (restaurant) in st. louis park, and we got our food for free! craaaaaaazy, but then again, it helps that our dad used to work there. i went shopping with charlie in arbor lakes, didn't really find anything, but yessss, i like wet seal a lot because i have no money. then me and crystal went to dunn bros, mmmmmm, caramel mocha icecremas. then, an idea hit me - IKEA!! so yes, me, trisha and denny went to ikea at 6 and walked around. i bought a shoe organizer something.. didn't buy much because we're gonna go back there next tuesday. :) then we hit up MOA, only to find that it was closing, so we went to olive garden. i tried something new.. it was ok, but strange, smelled like wine, kind of threw me off because i forgot about that. the salad had waaaay too much dressing, so it was less pleasing than the first time. we went to andrews park to go on the swings because i was fresh out of ideas. and sundays, everywhere's closed early anyways. we drove trisha home and then finished "snatch" at denny's, then i went home. ummm gift-wise, i only got $150 and a couple of picture frames from my mom, my brothers, i got nothing from them, ummm, denny bought me trendy shirts (hahah) and a trendy necklace, and a $20 dunn bros gift card!! ahhhhhh, and he's like "yeah i still have to get you that cd" -- WHAT, he had to have spent at least $50. crazy. but i love him, and his card was sweet & sad. i don't want him to leave... i'll have to make the best of the time we have together now. !!!

[15 Jul 2006|11:30am] [ music | trophy scars ] i feel like writing just because, so if you don't want to read it, i don't care, don't read it. summer's halfway over... and all of those people who were like, "OH YEAH WE HAVE TO HANG OUT YEAH KEEP IN TOUCH LOL CALL ME", about half of them i've seen once or twice this summer. i hate that. it sucks. i want to see people... already a couple of people can't come to my party on saturday, which sucks. i don't know when else i'd call them up and ask them to hang out. like amanda jaworski! i miss that girl. then again.. people don't call me to hang out, probably because they automatically assume i'm always out with denny. i'm really not. that pisses me off. another thing i don't like.. people finding out about me through people who know me. things are so impersonal these days.. nobody calls someone up to ask how they're doing, nobody does shit. even me. i fucking invited people to my party through myspace. maybe it's best that i lose my ties to most of my high school friends, because maybe then i wouldn't be weighing on my mind constantly. and the last thing i want are those bullshit things like "oh we'll keep in touch hahahah fdksjfkdlsjfkl". i've seriously lost almost all of my friends, and it's like watching them through a glass window. like at my movie night. ugh. that's what it is right now.. and i have a feeling that's how my party's gonna go. well, it'll probably be one of the last. 3 &!!!

the day before [15 Jul 2006|09:51am] so tomorrow, or tomorrow after midnight, i don't know, i'll be able to do all this stuff, all the "adult" stuff, like buy porn and cigarettes and gamble. what a life. thursday night i had a lot of fun with denny.. it hasn't been like that for a while. and yesterday i was sort of disappointed because we didn't get to really do anything in uptown before comedy sportz. i just sat at home playing my piano for about 2 hours before we went. yes i'm pathetic. actually.. it was good, because i miss playing the piano. i attempted playing "clair de lune" by debussy, oh man, that was a workout. but anyways... uptown, we went to this new/used bookstore, and wow, it was really awesome. by the time we got to comedy sportz, i was really tired. this show wasn't as good as the last one i saw with trisha, mandy, etc. i'm so tiiired, and i don't know what to do for my birthday tomorrow, any ideas? 2 &!!!

"blown cock" [13 Jul 2006|01:57pm] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJs5En45mH0 hahahah ok make sure you turn up your volume too. i had a last minute movie night last night, it went fairly well. i don't know what people are gonna do at my house next saturday. oh wells. yeah and i just sent out a shitload of myspace event invites, pretty much to anyone who lives in minnesota. yup. work sucks, it's hot, and i wanna take a shower. tonight = arbor lakes with denny, maybe, we'll see. !!!

oh hay [12 Jul 2006|02:35pm] we blew up a chicken yesterday and a 12 pack of super chill root beer and a pineapple, it was inteeeense. and my boyfriend sort of ditched me yesterday but hey, we blew stuff up! oh hey i don't know what to do on sunday. 6 &!!!

world cup? DAMMIT FRANCE [10 Jul 2006|05:32pm] this is a day late... but seriously, italy. wtf. and zidane... what the hell? so i talked to denny about going to iowa, and we're going to try it out, which is good. i am zillions times happier now. well, i guess i'm just content now because we talked about it. he tricked me - he said he had classes the 18th and .. i got really scared. that's a little over a month from now. but it turns out he sucks and looked it up on google, and he ended up looking at the wrong school site. but still. i can't imagine saying goodbye to him.. and not knowing when i'd be able to see him next. !!!

five hours away. [08 Jul 2006|11:43pm] i'm almost positive denny's going to iowa, whether he's gonna admit it or not. we talked about it before "pirates..." last night. i'm trying to be very supportive because, yeah, that's what he wants to do the most. why waste time in minnesota? although i can only hope that he wants to stay together... i don't know, this sucks a lot. he's there right now. we need to talk about it. i hope it doesn't end up with a "oh well i don't know if i want to stay together in college" and then me saying "oh well why not just end it now" because i'm just that cool. and "pirates..." was good. i don't know, i hear there's a third one coming out next year, that one will probably be better. 1 &!!!

currently sick of a lot of things. [06 Jul 2006|08:49pm] i realized that using my livejournal recently is just a way of me bitching about stupid things that no one really cares about, or writing about my day, detail by detail. and no one really cares to read it, and don't say you do, because if you do, you must feel obligated to. its ok, i know. i write entries about nothing. it's always the same. what's not the same.. is that denny might be going to iowa for school, i guess. and that makes me.. ___________. feel free to insert anything there except for "happy". i don't know, it's just hard to fathom, i guess. i thought it was going to be hard enough with me living on campus and him living at home. i'm not saying that his decision should rely on our relationship at all. i really hope that doesn't ever happen. but i know that if he does go to iowa.. i will miss him a lot. it's just hard to understand because it all happened really fast, like, last night fast. before ms. woodley came over.. he didn't even think of it much, but afterwards, he was so unsure about going to the u. i don't know what to think. so now i just wait. i'm also sick of the way i think lately. a lot of things have changed already. !!!

BIG NEWS! [04 Jul 2006|04:46am] [ mood | ecstatic ] trophy scars is playing a show at dennys house!!! aaaaahhh! YES THIS ROCKS. (anyone know of any good locals willing to play a show?) oh and bday party at my house, july 22nd. 1 &!!!

duluth (sucks) [03 Jul 2006|07:23pm] it's incredibly boring. i can't believe i'm stuck here til thursday. "its a vacation for the family"... duluth isn't much of a vacationing spot if you ask me. text my cell, pleeease. 1 &!!!

portugaaaaaaaaal [02 Jul 2006|11:45am] i got to hang out with laura, it was pretty fun. we went to portugal. the man, and yes, i brought juicy juice because i had no idea what to bring. johnny gourley is a very nice guy. i brought my polaroid camera with me, and so i definitely have a picture of us. it's kind of weird, but it makes sense because he's a strange guy. i'd scan it, but my scanner doesn't like this new laptop. um, it was a pretty good set, identical to the set they played with gatsbys, which is unfortunate. i hope they come back and play longer sets, or just record more. we left a couple songs into the matches, because i don't really care for them much. then we went to the taste of minnesota.. visited matt, and he told me where denny was. i got kind of worried because i didn't see him, and i didn't realize there were 3 bridgemann's booths. see the paranoia? yeah. i already have trust problems now, and i can't shake it. i don't know how i should deal with it. anyways, we visited denny, walked around, drank pink lemonade, and watched fireworks. good news, he told me that he might have trophy scars play at his house! that would be.. amazing. no joke. i've been dying to see them. but yeah. i think that it's good that me and laura got to talk, etc. i missed her a lot. so on a scale of 1-10, life as of now, is at a solid 8. oh. and yeah i leave for duluth tomorrow. "quality family time". gotta look forward to that. !!!

[30 Jun 2006|03:45pm] i am promising myself that i am not going to call him. 5 &!!!

a look back into the history books. [28 Jun 2006|03:40pm] (fuck shoes!!) i'm currently browsing through my photobucket from the past year or two, i'd like to think i've changed a little. ( i was such a nerd. ) !!!

orientation completed. [28 Jun 2006|03:02pm] i am so glad that trisha was there with me on monday and tuesday for the orientation at the u. it was so much easier. i suck at meeting people. there was this guy named max, and he was cool and all, but i got a weird vibe from him. met a couple of other people, not a real lasting relationship though, just small talk, etc. my orientation leader was so kickass though. his name is jason, and he was so pumped and enthusiastic about everything. wow. he had a really killer personality. i'd like to meet more people like him. he reminded me of a more intense version of amanda jaworski. so my classes for fall semester look like this... chemistry 1011: lecture MWF 9:05 - 9:55 am, lab 9:05 - 11:50 am french 1003: MTWThF 12:20 - 1:10 pm english comp 1012 (multiculturism persp): TTh 2:30 - 3:45 pm humanities 1001 (west I): T 6 - 9:20 pm yeah, one night class, i'm hoping that won't get in the way of anything else... i really hate that a lot of classes were filled up, i feel bad for people who have their orientation in july. they're gonna get nothing. i'm glad i placed into 3rd level french... i don't think i learned a lot this year besides more everyday vocabulary. besides that, i'm really excited for my humanities class, even though it's on the west bank, i have plenty of time to get over there. walking around on campus made me feel really .. independent. i think i'm ready. well last night i got to hang out with denny, which turned out to be a bit frustrating. he always doesn't know or doesn't care what we do, and i think he blocks out what i say, because i did say that i was up for coldstone. but we ended up not doing that. or doing anything really.. i asked if he wanted to rent movies, and that must have gotten lost in space because he said he didn't know what to do, even though i presented all these ideas. ok and he did too, but he didn't seem too enthused about doing any of them. relationships are hard. i get that. but should they be this hard? i got really frustrated, and i just decided i'd go to target to actually buy movies so the entire thing was going to be solved. i hate that i have to step up the majority of the time to handle things like this while he just sits there. the phone conversation could have lasted a lot longer with more silence if i hadn't had said that i was going to just buy the movies. so i bought "i heart huckabees" and "sideways". both of them i've been dying to watch, and i really really like "i heart huckabees". it was good. "sideways" was ok, besides the nudity. sorry, i'm not dying to watch a guy run naked with everything just... moving. wow. ok. the entire night seemed a bit off, and i'm going to just tell myself that it was because he was tired and he had really bad allergies. because if i don't, i'll start wandering off into paranoia-land, never to return. i have to remind myself a lot of things, like that everyone has their off days, and that i need to .. "trust" him? i just feel like i'm having a lot of problems with a lot of friendships at this point. it's not looking so well for me. i still haven't fixed my digital, i feel like buying a film SLR just to play around with, they're roughly $100-$150. one time use cameras just don't cut it. !!!

she's alive? [25 Jun 2006|07:57pm] ( i talked to the infamous laura saxton today online (this is definitely worth reading, even if you don't really read my lj) ) oh my god. 1 &!!!

back on earth [25 Jun 2006|07:24pm] [ music | gatsbys american dream ] now that my head's cleared a little, i think i was freaking out a little too much. i'm calm now. i'm good. i talked to him. i can't keep track of time nowadays. i'll be fine. i'll be ok. and if anything, i will be able to see him at orientation tomorrow. i'm semi-excited. trisha wants to meet boys. i'll meet boys too, but they will be just friends. i like making friends with cool people. i hope there'll be some nice kids there. i really really really do hope that we get to room together, or i am going to be extremely sad. alex's ex-boyfriend is an ass, i think he was seeing another girl (from myspace) and broke up with alex the next day. fuck myspace sluts. THEY'LL DIG YOU UP IN 1500 YEARRRRRRRRRRS, OOOOOOOHHH. 1 &!!!

stupid girl [24 Jun 2006|11:08pm] [ mood | fuuuuuucked ] i'm really bad with dealing with relationship problems, because i really don't know how to go about doing it. i guess i'm just scared that i'll fuck things up again, like i always do. or maybe it's really his fault, and i just blame myself all the time. that would be nice to know... that it's not always my fault. i really want him to know that i am frustrated that he doesn't set time for us to hang out... it's usually whenever his friends are busy and he has no one else to hang out with. well, that's what it feels like. and how do i approach him with that? without knowing whether or not he'll take it the wrong way, etc. i hate worrying about this shit all the time, but i can't help it. it's always there, and ugh. it makes me feel extremely pathetic, like that loser desperate girlfriend who is always waiting on his boyfriend. it makes me very upset to talk about it, and when we were at matt's, it was very hard not to just punch him again and cry afterwards. i'm such a fucking girl now. the hurt from ... a month ago? it's still there, and it hurts almost as much as it did before. ALMOST. i don't know. i don't see much of a difference now... like i said before. words are words. they don't speak as loudly as actions do. so i guess all i can do is sit here and sulk at home, plus bitch on livejournal about it. i'm so cool. yes. high school graduate, and i don't know how to deal with my emotions really well. i used to be way better... i guess things have changed a little? i don't know where it all changed. ugh. pathetic, pathetic. and i'm sure the people i keep venting to would like to say something, i don't know, they probably should say something. this isn't healthy for me at all. but what do i have to do? i'd like to know that i learn from my mistakes... but i guess i learn to be way more cautious, which is a bad thing in this case. communication really is the key to a relationship, and i don't know how to do it with him. it is very frustrating at times. honestly. i would do anything to just talk about things going on between us. or maybe... what he thinks. occasionally, so i don't go insane. i'd just like to know. so according to dan ta's scale of life, 1-10, it's currently at a 4.352. !!!

bahahahah!! MYSPACE EVERYWHERE. [24 Jun 2006|11:52am] so i am sitting in dunn bros and this late 20 something guy is on myspace!! bahahahaha. oh man. and he's totally in a dress shirt and dress pants. it cracks me up. maybe he is secretly a myspace whore?? he keeps looking around. shifty eyes. weird. creepy. a little. i'm really tempted to see if he's one of those guys pretending to be a younger, hot and hip 13 year old girl/boy. i guess old(er) people need some internet-love. i have been having a better day today, even though it's really barely started. i finally took my french reading placement test, i just have to take listening, but it says an hour and 45 minutes needed. I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME. i have to do it before monday though, or i can't take the test that morning of orientation. i'm not sure if i'm particularly excited for it or not. i'm excited to go on campus. maybe just not experience the entire thing, i heard it was extremely boring. denny tells me they talk about drugs, drinking, and sex during the thing. fun, sounds like 8th grade health. i've got a couple of grad parties to go to, and i have to go to all of them. crystal's, katie miller's, kelsey's, jessica domiano's, and matt's. i was thinking about not going to jess's, but she's a really old friend that i just haven't had time to talk to in the past year or so.. it's sad. she's really nice. so i figure i should go, even though she lives way out in dayton. boyfriend problems seemed to have fissured, i think it's just because i'm so damn paranoid all the time. i can't help it. i think a lot. we watched "the hills have eyes" with jenna and eric last night. ewwwwww, that movie is really gorey and sick. plus there's a nice little rape scene, so if that's your thing, go ahead and watch it. otherwise i definitely do not recommend it. okayyyy, i'm off to start my day. i'm trying to comment on more ljs now, i suck at being a friend. sorry guys. i really do read. have a nice day. !!!

on another note... [22 Jun 2006|04:21pm] i am very sick of trying to find things to do, and i am sick of waiting to see if denny is busy. it's pathetic.. and i am getting too attached. i never thought i'd end up doing this and the thought of it makes me want to puke. it seems selfish, but i'm trying to tell myself more that it's not. i always have to call him. i always have to ask what he's doing. why the fuck am i waiting on him? i need to be more independent. ok i'll just update from here. the first official day of summer was yesterday, and we did end up going to the beach. it was a lot of fun. surprise surprise, denny cancelled. ummmmmm. we stayed for maybe.. 3 hours? my back is pretty tan now. except the front side of my body has no color. fun. i got to hang out with corey and dan last night which was a lot of fun. yeah. i have a bad habit of keeping my nights open.. and now that's gonna change. anyways, we stayed at arbor lakes the entire night and ended up watching "over the hedge" instead of "nacho libre", thank god. i got really antsy towards the end of the movie, and i was glad to go home. i called him on my way home, probably not a good idea because i ended up just getting extremely frustrated. i just feel like now i'm the one who's being whipped, and it fucking sucks. i don't want to be "the girlfriend". i hate labels. i hate things a lot right now, and like dan ta, i'm going to rate my life on a scale from 1-10, and right now, it's a 6. 2 &!!!

wake up call. i don't care anymore. [22 Jun 2006|02:37pm] so i realize that this "friends-only" livejournal shit is dumb, i only did it because i was mad about people reading, but now i decide that i don't care, if you really care to read and not talk to me, fine. people can do whatever they want. so fuck friends only journals. and i'm too lazy to go back and switch them all, so too bad, you don't get to learn how i've been doing for the past month or so through the internet. !!! -- oh ps, if you have any suggestions for new music, give them to me, i'm currently extremely sick of the music i'm listening to. and yes. i'm dl-ing frank sinatra right now. bahahaha i am so cool. !!!

"awwww" [20 Jun 2006|03:50pm] ok i'm making this public.. and yes i just changed my entry. yes i never thought i'd believe in love while i'm 17. it's impractical, blahblahblah, i'm hardly an adult. but i can't imagine what things would be like if this had never happened. he is the most amazing guy i've met, ever. i can't explain how i feel for him... or even say it. this all looks so dumb and mushy and cliche. i don't know how to say it. I CAN'T SAY IT. i really want to.. i'm just scared. saying it and writing it are two completely different things to me. i don't know. i don't know why i'm so dumb and why i can't just come out and say it. i'm just a stupid girl. !!!

[19 Jun 2006|01:24pm] pictures from last week, i haven't had a lot of spare time to upload. we spent $380, but we got a bunch of stuff for free. i got colored sparklers, that's it. oh, and i was the only one who was still 17. oh well, one more month! ( i got a little camera happy. ) !!!

ahhhh this is so cool!! [09 Jun 2006|12:14pm] i finally got my NWSC music, this was such a long time ago. all-conference was one of the best experiences of my life. it's hard to believe that i was a part of this... NORMANDY 1944 for normandy, the composer was there, and it was SO cool because we were playing the music he wrote. he was a sweet old man, i think he shed a tear or two at the end. !!!

DONE DONE DONE [05 Jun 2006|06:32pm] graduation went a lot faster than i thought. MR. JONES SAID MY NAME WRONG, WTF. i didn't throw my hat, i know, lame? the senior party was a lot of fun, i won a duffel bag!! hehe. and a chipotle card. i got to hang out with denny for a majority of the time last night, and it was fun. i've seen him every day since the last day of school. i feel like i'm starting to get attached, and i know that'll only end up with me getting hurt or paranoid. yikes. summer = boredom, when i don't have to work. 2 &!!!

it's over. [03 Jun 2006|07:27am] high school. this chapter of my life is now over. and now, i'm forced to grow up. ( so many people. ) !!!

(edit) fixed pictures!! :) [29 May 2006|02:19pm] setlist: how the leopard got its spots chicago the devil horse warming party marching with 6 ( frame it up! frame it up! ) !!!

yeahhhhhhh bbq [28 May 2006|10:10am] i got off work at 6, wayyyyyyy way early, and luckily i got to spend a lot of time at tashina's. it was a blast. i'm half glad that denny cancelled and didn't come. even if that means i was mad at first. but it's ok. mostly we sat and talked. water gun fights, volleyball, blowing bubbles, and a pinata! that was extremely amusing to watch, and yes i was too chicken to do it. k. one of the best nights i've had in a long time with friends, i miss it a lot. ( i'm gonna miss this so much. ) 2 &!!!

fuuuuuuuuuuck [24 May 2006|05:09pm] i fucking lose my car because my mom and dad are in a fight and i say one thing to my mom... it wasn't even that bad, but i get that i probably shouldn't have said it, but my dad flips out and i lose my car for a fucking day. oh did i mention i drive people to school? YEAH TAKE MY CAR AWAY GOOD JOB DAD, WAY TO IMPRESS MOM, now you're really cool. thanks for using your own daughter. i'm unbelievably pissed.. because it wasn't my fault. my mom was nagging me about how long my fingernails were.. and i said, "shut your mouth." no. i didn't even YELL, i didn't even raise my voice. and my dad FRRRRRREAKS. he's throwing shit, he's slamming things down. and i was like... "jeez. fine." charlie says, "its because of mom," and i say, "yeah thats obvious." and then we kind of murmur things to each other, and the next thing i know, i said "hahha yeah" to charlie, and my dad goes, "HTEIOWGFSA NO CAR TOMORROW! I'M DRIVING IT! NO CAR TOMORROW! YOU CAN'T DRIVE TOMORROW!" and i said. "pft. no." and he goes to say that he's going to take out the fucking battery. so when people tell me they think my parents are nice. they don't see all the "behind the scenes" shit that goes on. and this is why i'm sick of my family, and why i most likely won't keep in touch with my parents. yes and there's more personal stuff that nobody knows... not willing to disclose to anyone. there are few who can top what i've gone through. so if you can give me a ride to and from school tomorrow. that would be great... please call me and tell me. thanks. ps. the treos song for the superman soundtrack = aweeeeeeeesome :) !!!

yeah, i went to mutemath. [18 May 2006|10:20pm] 5/18/2006 @ fine line music cafe; rookie of the year (no photos), under the influence of giants, and mutemath. ( ONE OF THE BEST LIVE SHOWS I'VE SEEN. ) !!!

i like looking at these [17 May 2006|04:57pm] [ music | vedera ] mmm, drinking sobe makes me happy. !!!

hahahahahaha [16 May 2006|04:16pm] a tribute to all really really cool myspace girls. ahem. and to the certain who LOVES LOVES LOVES to see pictures like these. oh yes. i'm missing sunglasses. and really dark makeup. and the tuffgrrrrl look. yeah i'm not funny. !!!

french food party!! [14 May 2006|08:33pm] this was a while ago... oh yeah. and i don't have photoshop yet. grrrrrr. don't forget, orchestra concert tomorrow night. :) !!!

i<3bff. [13 May 2006|09:20pm] sometimes... this is the only thing that keeps me going. yay for best friends. !!!

[09 May 2006|08:07pm] how long is too long? i miss him so much.. and by him, i mean, the real denny, my boyfriend. not whatever he is now. i'm taking everything one day at a time. it feels like forever. and thursday feels like it's 3 weeks away, i am so glad that we can all have dinner that night. i finally got around to ordering senior pictures. sorry if you guys are really into the PRETTYDRESSEDUP thing. because mine are definitely.. casual? yeah. & umm. i think i'm gonna see murder by death play an acoustic set at aardvark records on the 28th. pretty exciting.. because i'm bummed i can't go to the show that night, because portugal. the man is that night. next monday... last orchestra concert EVER, 7:30, you should go if you are really really awesome. gah. i need a hug right now. 1 &!!!

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